Until just recently, Kara LaVoy didn’t know if she’d ever be the person she was four years ago.
I can finally talk about Kristen and not cry. She was like my identity in a way and I was hers, so you don’t just have the pain of her being gone, you have no idea who you even are, said LaVoy.
Kristen was more than just LaVoy’s sister`she was her twin, her other half. So when she died from autoimmune kidney disease at age 36, LaVoy’s life was shattered.
`I actually went away for a couple weeks and really tried to handle it and feel like a whole person,` said LaVoy.
It took so long to heal because of the twin connection the two shared. Shortly after her death, LaVoy said her sister gave her one last gift: identical twin daughters.
`I think the twins [Rayn Kristen and Sage Kristen] are a gift from her. When I see these two girls together and they look at each other and say ‘You’re my best friend,’ it’s beautiful,` said LaVoy. `They even have a twin language.`
Just like the now 3 1/2-year-old twins were Kristen’s last gift after death, their older brother Sky, now 6, was her last gift before death.
`She waited for my son to be born and got on an airplane and came to Florida to hold him for about a week; she died four weeks later,` said LaVoy, who said she believes her sister wanted at least one of her nieces/nephews to meet their aunt.
Kristen’s strength and compassion was evident by more than just her family, it also touched her best friend Tonya Pellegrini Lawrence.
`I grew up with Kristen, we knew each other since we were 12 years old,` said Lawrence.
When Kristen became sick at 18 and was lucky enough to receive a kidney transplant that same year, Lawrence was by her side every step of the way.
Now, Kristen is by Lawrence’s side every step of the way during the annual kLaVoy5k race created in her honor to raise money for Donate Life NY`Center for Donation and Transplant.
`That transplant gave her probably seven or eight years of really good quality of life it helped her so much not to be on dialysis and all the meds,` said Lawrence. `I decided to organize the race to get awareness out there and advocate for organ donation.`
The 4th kLaVoy5k is May 7 at 8 a.m. at Saratoga Springs State Park. Even though Kristen would have balked at running 3.2 miles, Lawrence said she would have loved the event itself.
`She would have loved not even the race but that somebody was advocating for organ donation,` said Lawrence.
Lawrence said she, Kristen and LaVoy made many memories together and separately. Lawrence would sit with Kristen during four hours of dialysis three to four days a week or bring her lunch in the hospital, and now that LaVoy moved back to Saratoga from Florida, the pair get together every single morning.
But there’s one moment Lawrence said she’ll always remember and is what really made her realize not only how fragile life is, but the magnitude of organ donation.
`When she got the ‘OK’ to do stuff we went camping out in Cape Cod and she literally stood there holding her stomach where her kidney was and loved it that we were out at a campfire and she didn’t have to be at the hospital,` said Lawrence. `She would pat her stomach and just say ‘There’s my kidney.’ It was a massive sense of freedom.`
This is the first year LaVoy will be able to attend the race her sister inspired and she’s both nervous and excited.
`I have a feeling a bus of them are going to show up and it’ll be so overwhelming,` said LaVoy. `To be able to see everything and know this is all for my sister and Donate Life, I’m honored and honored to be Tonya’s friend and keep that name going. It’s going to be a really special day and I’m looking forward to it.`
Knowing what it’s like to experience organ transplant through her sister, LaVoy said it means everything to be able to help other families going through the same thing.
`She was special and I think she realized it was hard for me seeing her in the hospital just as much as it was for her to be in that hospital bed,` said LaVoy. `If you didn’t walk a day in Kristen’s shoes, you didn’t know what it was like.`
They might be in different places now, but LaVoy said her twin is still with her.
`I feel like she is very content with where I am today and how I’m feeling about things. I can feel her happiness,` said LaVoy.
The kLaVoy5k steps off at 8 a.m. on Saturday, May 7, at Saratoga Springs State Park. Runners can sign up to walk, run or donate at www.active.com keyword `kLaVoy5k.` Moisture wicking T-shirts are available for the first 200 registrants, there will be a DJ, snacks and a massage therapist. This year’s goal is $10,000.
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