Ed Guider of Ballston knows firsthand the damage domestic violence can do to any family, at any time, in any place in the world.
My dad was an abuser, said Guider. `I came from a family of 10, and there were six boys, and all of us vowed to never be abusive. Violence affects everybody in all walks of life.`
Guider has done more than live his life peacefully. He has rallied for public recognition and action against the shockingly high incidence of harassing and harming women, teens and the elderly. Three years ago, he founded the grassroots group Ballston Men Against Violence, with a goal of attracting 100 men, although women are also welcome to be part of the advocacy organization.
`We’re here for the women and girls in this town,` said Guider. `Most people are totally unaware, but it is happening.`
The group has organized presentations at the Burnt Hills-Ballston Lake library on topics frequently shrouded by doubt, fear or shame, including teen date rape and elder abuse. In order to draw people in, Guider is careful to keep the names of the sessions benign and unthreatening.
`If we say ‘teen dating violence,’ it will scare girls away,` said Guider. `If we say ‘elder abuse,’ that intimidates people, so we say ‘elder care.’ We have to play with the language.`
The men’s group has already had a profound impact on the Ballston community. This month, the Ballston Town Board approved the hiring of a part-time security guard at Town Court, where many domestic cases appear.
`The courtroom is just a dangerous place,` said Guider. `The town judges may be women, and the clerks, and research has shown that battered women who press charges are at a huge risk.`
The group also plans to set up a `court watch` system to monitor the town’s processing system for offenders.
`We want to continuously seek ways to make the courtroom safer, and at the same time, make sure guys who are hurting their women and children don’t just go free,` said Guider.
Town board members said they are happy to work with the group on these and other measures. Another goal is to find a way to make brochures on services available to women accessible in a safe environment. Currently, the brochures are at the front of the court room, but might be better suited to a quiet hallway or even the women’s restroom.
`We support these measures completely,` said Town Council Member Mary Beth Hynes, who brought Guider’s requests to the town board last year.
`These are issues we need to bring to the attention of the public.`
Guider said he is also hoping to establish a permanent link to the town’s Web site on joining Ballston Men Against Violence, available services and upcoming events.
`Women and girls can log onto the town Web site without jeopardizing being caught,` said Guider. `There is so much shame associated with violence in the home, between family members, or with boys teenage girls are dating. There is this misconception violence only happens in big cities; and people in rural areas are ashamed to come forward.`
Guider said other future plans include establishing a town sub-committee to address domestic and sexual abuse in Ballston, and to establish a policy on domestic violence in the workplace for the town’s employees. They are also working to set up a speaker’s bureau to talk to civic groups, church members, and at the local high schools.
The group has already had an indelible effect on some local women.
`At every meeting, there are women who disclose they’ve been victimized,` said Guider. `There are simply too many women and girls being hurt. Being part of our group can be empowering for women.`
Ballston Men Against Violence members also hope to link with other similar groups to form statewide alliances that could be lobbying groups that impact future state and federal legislation. `There are movements of men that are starting all over,` said Guider. `But if things are going to change, women must also be involved. We all have to look at how we’re raising our sons.`
In raising awareness, the group also hopes to sound a call to arms from the entire community to be on the lookout for any family members in crisis.
`Most of us are bystanders, and choose not to notice,` said Guider. `We can show people, yes, it’s uncomfortable, but we need to help. Let’s take away the shame, bring it all out in the open and remove the stigma.`
For information about Ballston Men Against Violence, contact Guider at 399-4242.“