The sane person’s argument over the abundance of snow this season would be that it is winter, and we are in the Northeast, so one should expect this weather.
But, the emphasis to that argument is placed too heavily on the word “sane.” This winter, for all intents and purposes, has been nothing but insane.
There is snow on the ground and more is in the forecast, and in between it all is a cold blast of air that would make a polar bear blush with wind burn. Attempting to escape to the indoors is not always successful. The thermostat is set above 70, the space heater is glowing red and all the doors are shut tight, but the ever-present chill in the air remains.
Ever-present? Nah. Omnipresent. It’s there in your morning shower. It tempts you to keep the fan off so can keep all that nice, warm steam confined to the room. And, once your done with your shower – at which length conservationists would cringe – you remain standing, wrapped in your towel, for several more minutes. Why leave?
Why leave? So you can walk outdoors in the bitter cold, over week-old snow that has compacted into ice. Your daily routine has created a pathway requiring ice skates. You’re reminded of this — especially while carrying your cup of hot coffee — as you slip and your java flies. You exclaim something you hope your children don’t hear. They snicker.
Measles be damned, that vacation to Disney looks better each day. You’re pretty sure you were vaccinated, and your family too. It’s time to pony up the money, or play the lottery, to purchase that life-saving ticket to paradise. It’s not hyperbole. Staying in the Northeast one more blessed day is going to tempt the survival instinct we all have, flight or fight.
It’s February, man. Punxsutawney Phil Sowerby, that rodent of a beast, predicted another six weeks of winter. It’s the end of the workday, and your toes still haven’t thawed. You feel yourself clawing at your desk, kicking at your chair, banging your head at the door before trudging outside. Meanwhile, your co-worker Susan, with the remote car-starter, cheerfully walks by.
We don’t like Susan.
And now is the time you recognize your mind is lost as you reference yourself not only in the third-person, but with a plural noun.
Not all of us can afford a vacation south right now, so keep this in mind when dealing with your neighbors. We’re all on edge. We all have had enough of the snow and the cold. Be kind and we’ll all make it to spring soon.
