Question: Can you talk to me about flying with a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old. Just me. Can I do this? It feels overwhelming!
Answer: I’ve been there. It is overwhelming the first time you do it as the only adult with young kids. The best thing to calm the anxiety is to anticipate and prepare.
There are basically three areas you need to cover in order to make the trip go smoothly:
1. Prepare mentally
Understanding it’s going to be a long, trying day will help you “up your game.” The thing you’ll need the most is patience – patience with your kids, airport workers, customs agents, annoying strangers, and even with your self. Think about what has worked for you in the past to stay calm and cool in difficult situations. Perhaps it’s soothing self-talk, deep breathing, seeing the humor, anticipating the fun and relaxation once you’re there or, sneaking handfuls of chocolate? Have some strategies in your back-pocket and apply liberally.
2. Prepare logistically
This covers all the details like when to arrive at the airport, what to pack, getting bags and baby-gear checked, what to eat, keeping kids entertained on the plane and navigating airport exits and bag pick-up. Think it all through. Can someone drive you to the airport, park the car and help you get bags checked in? When do you need to leave home so you arrive at the airport with lots of time to get to the gate before boarding? What documents do you need to travel with? If flying internationally, you may need a notarized letter giving you consent from the other parent to take children out-of-country.
In my experience, it’s better to minimally pack things like cosmetics and clothing, especially if you’ll have access to washer and dryer on the other end. You want to be hands-free as much as possible while ushering kids through the airport. The kids can wear little back-packs of their own as carry-ons. I’d fill them with mostly snacks. Over-pack on snacks! Food selection at the airport is dicey and pricey. Put small toys, books, paper, crayons, and headphones in children’s backpacks. A word of caution: If you think your kids can just “plug-in” the whole ride, you’re setting yourself up for potential disaster. Some planes don’t have screens or appropriate programs for kids. Sometimes the noise of the engine makes it impossible for kids to hear the show. The bottom-line is don’t rely on screen-time to save you.
3. Preparing Kids
With little kids, it’s best to talk it up a week or two ahead of time. Read books about the airport and flying so they get an idea of how it all looks. They will mostly be focused on the fun and excitement of the experience. It’s good to temper some of that energy by letting them know it will also be difficult at times. My little ones liked the idea of having some responsibility over their own bags and knowing that they had to “help Mommy” throughout the trip. If you are worried about your child’s behavior at the airport or on the plane, consider doing some planned teachings in the days leading up to the trip.
This simple exercise will help to reinforce the behavior you want to see. Here’s how it works:
Identify the expected behavior and describe it for child: “I expect you to stay close to Mommy at all times; that means next to my body or holding my hand.”
Give a rationale for the expected behavior: “This is to keep you safe in the airport so I don’t loose you.”
Role-play the expected behavior: Set up a simple role-play for your child to practice the desired behavior. Little kids will love this part. Doing it over and over will reinforce it!
Give Corrective Feedback: “You started to wander away without asking permission. What should you do instead?”
When the situation is real, you can prompt the child to remember the planned teachings. Good luck!
As a PCI Certified Parent Coach, my task is to help parents look within for the answers they seek. I whole-heartedly believe there is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to child-rearing. Send your questions and comments to [email protected].
