Question:
Dear Acorn,
Help! My child is really struggling in school this year with paying attention and getting his work completed. I have had a conversation with the teacher about his ‘distracting behaviors’ like fidgeting, talking out of turn, and talking to other kids when he shouldn’t be. I worry that he’ll get labelled as a trouble-maker and poor student. He loved kindergarten last year and the first two months of first grade seemed positive. I’m not sure what’s changed, but I want to get him back on track sooner, rather than later. Where do I start?
—Vanessa, Albany, mother to a 6-year-old
Answer: The transition from kindergarten to first grade is difficult for most children. The playful aspects of kindergarten take a backseat as more direct instruction takes over. That means a whole lot less movement and creative play-time for kids. It is normal for a child of this age to have difficulty sitting still, paying attention, and keeping on task. A 6-year-old’s body is made to move. Adults need to appreciate that children exert a lot of effort during the school day just trying to sit still and pay attention. That exertion causes mental fatigue for most kids and can lead to issues with their school performance and behaviors. Rather than label the child a problem, let’s look at the environment and ask if the child’s needs are being met there.
The first thing I would do is talk to the teacher about the amount of physical activity your child gets throughout the school day. Movement and learning are connected. Angela Hanscom, a pediatric occupational therapist says, “In order to create actual changes to the sensory system that results in improved attention over time, children need to experience what we call ‘rapid vestibular (balance) input’ on a daily basis. In other words, they need to go upside down, spin in circles, and roll down hills. They need authentic play experiences that get them moving in all different directions in order to stimulate the little hair cells found in the vestibular complex (located in the inner ear). If children do this on a regular basis and for a significant amount of time, then (and only then) will they experience the necessary changes needed to effectively develop the balance system, leading to better attention and learning in the classroom.
Recess and P.E. class are vital to a kid having trouble sitting still. Exerting physical energy for a good 20 minutes in the middle of his day could help his attention and behavior. Make sure he’s getting plenty of time to play, preferably outdoors, and after school too. If there is homework, that should come after playtime.
I hear you saying you’re concerned about a negative stigma being attached to your son. To work against this, spend some time focusing on his strengths. What does he love to do? What makes him curious? When he is paying attention or concentrating on something, what does that look like? When are the times he’s able to focus? Look for what works for your son to successfully complete tasks and then share that information with his teacher.
Hopefully the teacher will be receptive and find ways to incorporate your son’s interests and strengths into his learning. The most important thing at this young age is to make sure your son loves learning and feels positive about school.
Finally, I would talk to your son about his school behaviors with understanding and empathy. Let him know the teacher’s job is to help him learn, but that you understand it’s hard to learn when your body wants to move, or your mouth wants to speak, or your brain is having trouble thinking.
If you approach this challenge from the persecutive of understanding and meeting his needs, you are far more likely to keep your relationship strong and his self-esteem in tact.
As a PCI Certified Parent Coach, my task is to help parents look within for the answers they seek. I whole-heartedly believe there is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to child-rearing. Send your questions and comments to [email protected].