Buddy Washburn looks like a typical 11-year-old. He’s hyper. He has a wide, toothy smile and a laugh that shakes his whole body and lights up his whole face. He’s obsessed with cars and loves to swim. He talks a mile a minute and is on the honor roll at Sand Creek Middle School. But under all those “regular” adolescent things lies what his mother, Trish Washburn, calls an invisible disability that can make everyday life a struggle. Buddy has autism. “When you look at Buddy, he looks like a regular kid and that’s the hardest part. People don’t understand when he does something not normal, whatever normal means,” said Washburn. “People expect [him] to be able to do things that he can’t.” Buddy was diagnosed with autism before the age of 2. Ever since then, Washburn’s motto has been “exposure, exposure, exposure.” “It’s really important for me to expose him to everything that I can,” she said.
So far, she’s been able to do just that, from getting him on a recreational swim team to bringing him on family vacations to the beach, despite fears that he’d “freak out” because of the salt water and sand. But there’s one place close to home that she was having trouble getting Buddy exposed to: town parks. The Mohawk River Park, with the big pool, charges visitors to enter, and although a few dollars in gate and pool fees seems nominal, Washburn said in her household, it’s anything but. “It sounds silly, but $3 or $4 to come here is [a lot], especially if you want to come regularly and expose your kid to different things,” said Washburn. “For families like ours, we have so many expenses.” Washburn knew how to get around the fees. The Access Pass gives people with disabilities free entrance to New York State parks. Each town approaches it a little different, though, and a resolution of some sort needs to be passed for it to take effect. It took five years of letter writing and standing up to speak at Town Board meetings, but on April 5, a resolution was finally passed that makes Access Pass acceptable at all town parks. “Save your letter and put it in your scrapbook,” said Supervisor Paula Mahan to Buddy, “because you helped pass a law.” Now, Buddy can swim at the park until he turns into a fish. He can take walks in the woods and have picnics in the pavilions. He said his help in passing the law is important because “people that have autism or disabilities can go to the park more often and have more fun and live more.” One of those people is his 9-year-old sister, CJ. She hasn’t been officially diagnosed, but Washburn said she’s convinced she belongs somewhere on the autism spectrum. “She does things like walk on her toes, has trouble controlling her emotions so her frustration tolerance is low … things she did when she was little that the only reason I took notice is because of Buddy,” said Washburn. “She’s higher functioning and she’s a girl … so it’s more difficult to get the diagnosis.” Washburn said the money she saves on fees can go toward more therapy.
Washburn has spent loads on therapy for Buddy. Anything that could help him progress, she’s willing to try because it seems to have worked. He didn’t speak until he was 4, instead grunting when he wanted something. He relied on sign language to communicate for a while. His behavior is still unpredictable, but he’s been having more “good days” than “bad days” lately. Still, she said, she always feels like she’s fighting.
“I’m fighting with the schools, always fighting to get him the services he needs, I’m even fighting with my mom because she says something to me that I don’t think [is supportive],” said Washburn. Her desperation to stall the battles is why Washburn said she spent so much energy and time on getting Access Pass accepted and why she’s willing to put in the work to accomplish what still needs to be done. “I used to be a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and I still do believe everything happens for a reason, but I’m struggling with what the reason is,” said Washburn. “Right now, I think that I’m involved in a lot of different things to help people with disabilities, and I’m thinking that might be the reason why this happened.” There’s still time for fun, though, and the family sometimes finds it in an unusual places.
“I love car dealerships, DeNooyer Chevrolet,” said Buddy. “They leave the cars unlocked; Corvettes, Camaros, Mustangs. You can turn on the radio in Chevys even when they’re turned off.” To learn more about Access Pass or how to apply, visit www.nysparks.com. For a list of parks in the Town of Colonie, visit www.colonie.org and click on the parks and recreation section.