Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s isn’t an easy responsibility, but there are others ready to provide compassion and encouragement through sharing experiences.
The Alzheimer’s Association of Northeastern New York offers support groups at more than 30 locations across 12 counties to help care-giving partners and individuals with early stage Alzheimer’s or others forms of dementia. The support groups are designed to provide emotional, educational and social support for caregivers through regularly scheduled meetings. Groups typically meet monthly, with some meeting twice a month, and trained staff or volunteers facilitate discussions.
Jason Lee, community service representative at Home Instead Senior Care, facilitated his first group Tuesday, Jan. 15, at Kingsway Community’s Village Apartments in Schenectady. The group meets monthly every third Tuesday at 7 p.m.
“You can just talk about personal conflicts, concerns and problems with your loved ones dealing with early stage dementia and Alzheimer’s,” Lee said. “I just kind of move the conversation, and then people share stories.”
Lee said the groups often discuss how to better care for loved ones with dementia and Alzheimer’s. The learning experience often provides insight not found in textbooks or through browsing online.
Talking about frustrations and challenges might seem wrong to people at first, but Lee said it is important to share experiences.
“What people wind up telling me is, ‘Man, I didn’t realize I could do this,’” Lee said. “I think people don’t realize they can actually get that weight off their shoulders about discussing their trials and tribulations of the stressors they have.”
His mother, Eileen, has come up with her own techniques to solve issues dealing with her husband’s Alzheimer’s disease.
For instance, Eileen will lock one of her arms around her husband at night so she would awaken if he were going to get up in the middle of the night. Sometimes Lee’s father would be downstairs and have no recollection of how he got there or what he was doing.
“I never would have thought of that,” Lee said, “because she always fears about him getting up in the middle of the night.”
During the discussion group, Lee would often refer back to his personal experiences to help ease others into talking about their loved ones.
“I think my wife was going downhill before we really realized what was happening,” John Strizzi said. “All of a sudden about a year ago, I got laid up and couldn’t get out of bed … and it became perfectly clear real quick that she could not cope.”
Strizzi said his wife wasn’t able to take care of herself without him helping, and doctors said she needed to get memory care. Recently, his wife fractured her ankle, but nobody knows how it happened.
“They say, ‘I don’t think she knows where she is or why,’” Strizzi said, “but life goes on.”
Strizzi’s daughter-in-law, Cathy, joined him at the meeting and has been helping him care for his wife. Cathy Strizzi’s mother has severe dementia, so she’s familiar with the challenges he is facing.
“It is scary because as the kid, you don’t always know what the best thing is to do,” Cathy Strizzi said.
For information on the Alzheimer’s Association of Northeastern New York visit www.alz.org/northeasternny, which has a link to a calendar of all upcoming meetings. You can also call Karen Brit, western region program manager of the Alzheimer’s Association, at (518) 867-4999, ext. 303, for meeting information, too. The 24-hour helpline is (800) 272-3900.