If your young child came to you and said, “I want to be the president when I grow up,” what would you think?
Somewhere out there, someone is raising the future president of the United States. How would you go about it?
What would the late Steven Covey advise? Covey is best known for his “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” a handbook on success for adults. His ideas continue to resonate in innovative programs in schools all over America and other countries as well.
The seven principles he outlines in his popular book can apply to children as well.
First, be proactive, not reactive. Teach your children that they are in control of making good decisions with positive outcomes. Secondly, all things are created twice, which means you visualize a goal and then you physically make it happen. Next, you have to put things to be done in proper order, first things first. This teaches your child time management and responsibility for the homework due tomorrow, as well as the project due in six weeks.
The fourth principle is about how to create the “win-win” situation. Accomplishments are met with mutual respect and agreement and not at the expense of others. You exercise this principle when you teach your children to work with you and agree on a compromise. Do this on issues where you feel there is an advantage to meeting in the middle.
The essence of the fifth principle says that if you want to be heard and understood, listen first. This is probably the most critical principle applicable to parenting. Listen, listen, listen, and do so compassionately and with concern. If you are a good listener, your child will learn the skill from you. Then when you have something important to convey to your child, he/she will be all ears! In addition, your child will develop the ability to speak up and effectively express opinions and ideas in class and also listen intently to others.
If your son or daughter says to you “Look Mom, we are synergizing!” while you are working together to clean up the kitchen after dinner, you have mastered the sixth principle. It is all about cooperation, trust and working together traits so important for a happy, successful family.
The seventh and final principle explains that a happy child comes from a happy family and grows up learning that the greatest asset for success is and always will be self. Teach your children to love and care for themselves the way you love and care for them. Eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, and being physically active every single day is always good practice. Beyond that, it is just as important to give your children quiet time each day to read, to think and to reflect.
Today, children are taught in school to think about their own thinking. Children know this as “my schema.” Even if your children are not familiar with this term, you can teach them to use this strategy. How many times have you said, with some dismay,”What were you thinking?” but you didn’t wait for an answer because you weren’t expecting one. Next time, ask the question, wait for an answer and talk about how to think through a better outcome in the future.
As a parent, you can be a role model in your character education lessons on respect, responsibility, tolerance, cooperation and caring for others, but can you imagine what a powerful duo the partnership of home and school can be in fulfilling the promise of our children?
If only the present day curriculum wasn’t so crowded and dominated by testing, but then, don’t get me started!
Felicia Bordick and her colleagues, Carol Smith and Joyce Thomas, are authors of “Kitchen Table Time: Recipes for School Success.” Please feel free to contact Felicia Bordick with comments, questions, or suggestions at [email protected].