Coaches are frequently family men, and their family lives often cross over into their professional lives when one or more of their children play sports.
Here are five stories about fathers who have had to walk the fine line between being a coach and being a parent.
John Furey
Niskayuna football/baseball coach
Furey has been coaching his oldest son Dan for the last three baseball seasons, and the veteran Niskayuna coach said it’s been an enjoyable experience.
It’s the first time I got to see him play school ball, said Furey. `I missed his first three seasons (on the modified, freshman and junior varsity teams), so it’s been nice to see him play.`
Furey said working with Dan had its challenges, especially when it came to giving his son criticism.
`A lot of times, it’s hard in a father-son relationship to give criticism, but he takes criticism well,` he said.
To keep an unbiased opinion about Dan, Furey turned to his assistant coaches for advice.
`I always want to get feedback from those guys to make sure I’m making moves as a coach and not as a father,` Furey said. `It’s a lot better when you have assistants who can talk to your child and give them criticism.`
Furey added maintaining that balance between being a coach and being a father is the biggest challenge he faced with Dan on the ballfield.
`You’ve got to think about the situation and what’s best for the team when your son is out there,` he said. `You’ve got to treat him like anyone else.`
Dan graduates in less than a week, but Furey has another opportunity to coach his children. His younger son Peter is set to join the varsity football and baseball teams next year as a junior. His daughter Kelly, a fifth-grader, also plays sports.
Furey said Peter’s decision to play football was influenced in part by going to Niskayuna games when he was younger and watching such players as AndrE Davis and Chris Nappi.
`He saw successful they were, and he wanted to be part of that,` Furey said.
Jim Smith
Retiring CBA football coach/athletic director
Smith knows all about coaching his children. His two sons, Jimmy and Packy, played for him at CBA in the 1990s.
`They got along with everybody,` said Smith. `I’ve heard horror stories about other situations where coaches’ sons didn’t get along with their teammates, but I was fortunate.`
Smith encouraged Jimmy and Packy to play a variety of sports. It just happened that they picked football when they reached high school.
`Growing up, I never pushed them into football. They never even played Pop Warner,` said Smith. `Athletics were part of the family, but I never said, ‘You have to do this.’`
When they reached the varsity level, Smith said he made it clear to Jimmy and Packy that there would be no special treatment.
`People always ask when you’re coaching your kids, ‘Is it difficult?’ and I remember someone saying that if you coach all your players like they were your kids, it’s not a problem. That’s what I tried to do,` said Smith.
Smith added that it wasn’t always easy on his sons to be on his team. `They see you interacting with other kids all the time, and I think it’s more difficult on them than on you. You’ve got to be aware of that, but we were pretty open about it at home,` he said.
Smith is retiring, but his son Jimmy is carrying on his coaching legacy. The former CBA tight end and defensive lineman is Bethlehem Central High School’s running back and defensive back coach.
`He was more into football (growing up),` said Smith of Jimmy, who’s been on Bethlehem’s coaching staff the last three years. `Packy, he liked football, but he liked running more.`
Gary Chatnik
Guilderland girls lacrosse coach
There has been a Chatnik playing lacrosse at Guilderland for nearly as long as there has been a Chatnik coaching lacrosse. Lauren Chatnik was a star goaltender for her father’s team from 2003 to 2005, and Corrine Chatnik just completed her sophomore season with the Section II champion Lady Dutch.
`It’s great,` Chatnik said of coaching his daughters. `It’s the reason I got into it in the first place. We’ve gotten closer because of it, and it’s great to watch them and their friends get better (as lacrosse players).`
Unlike Furey and Smith, Chatnik has had to balance his coaching and his father duties with his job, which frequently takes him out of the region. Chatnik makes certain that he doesn’t travel a lot during the three-month lacrosse season.
`It’s not easy, but I make do because it’s important to the girls and myself,` said Chatnik, who works for A Christmas to Remember. `You do the best you can.`
The greatest benefit of coaching for Chatnik is having more time with his daughters.
`I get to see them every day, so you see what’s going on with them,` he said. `You have a role in how they’re turning out.`
Chatnik has two more seasons with Corrine. Then, he’ll welcome his youngest daughter Leah to the varsity team. After that, Chatnik said he doesn’t know if he’ll continue to coach high school lacrosse.
I’d like to be involved at that point but that’s a long way away,` he said.
Harvey Staulters
Ballston Spa wrestling/softball coach
Staulters’ family ties run deep in the varsity sports he coaches. Not only does he work with his two daughters, Kate and Christine, on the softball team, but he also has four nephews on the wrestling team.
`It’s a good thing for me,` said Staulters. `I love what I do, and even though they’re my family, they listen to my coaching. Plus, I get to see my brothers and my sister.`
Staulters grew up the middle child in a family of nine kids. He and six of his brothers wrestled at Ballston Spa for another big sports family in town, the Johnsons.
`It was probably one of the greatest experiences for me,` said Staulters. `We were all different sizes, but we challenged each other (to wrestling matches) all the time. We broke a few things in the house. We put each other through a couple of walls but we were OK.`
Three of his brothers’ boys ` Cody, David and Cameron Staulters ` wound up on Staulters’ varsity team this season along with his sister’s son, Anthony Scarpetti. And the Staulters’ wrestling tradition continues with eighth-grader Joshua, who Staulters anticipates will make his varsity debut next year.
As for his immediate family, Staulters is sending Kate off to college in the fall. He has one more softball season with Christine before she graduates, but he said he’d like to continue coaching varsity softball after 2008.
`I think we’re heading in the right direction, and I want to make it complete,` said Staulters, who coached the Ballston Spa JV team for more than 15 years before taking the varsity job in 2006.
Mike Ambrosio
Colonie football coach
Ambrosio has a unique situation himself. His son Mark is just completing his sophomore year at crosstown rival Shaker, and he will be trying out for the varsity football team in August.
The prospect of coaching against Mark is not something Ambrosio is looking forward to, but he knows it’s inevitable.
`All I can do is imagine what it will be like,` said Ambrosio. `It will be a little different, but he’s still my son, and we’ll still love each other after the game.`
The possibility of coaching against his son could have been avoided had Ambrosio transferred Mark to Colonie, but he didn’t want to do that.
`This is his neighborhood, and this is where his friends are,` said Ambrosio. `There was no reason to import him.`
Ambrosio fit in attending his son’s modified, freshman and JV games at Shaker with his coaching duties at Colonie over the last four years, though it created some potentially awkward moments when the crosstown rivals collided on the field.
`It was a little weird sitting on the Shaker side at the Colonie game,` said Ambrosio. `It was a little different to see the game from the other side, but it was fun rooting for my son.`
Ambrosio won’t have that luxury once Mark joins Shaker’s varsity team. Instead, he’ll have to coach against him.
`I’m hoping it’s just another week,` said Ambrosio. `He may not be a factor one way or another depending on what (position) he plays, but if he is a factor, then you treat him like a part of the (other) team ` in theory, anyway.“
