On Valentine’s Day, I found myself standing outside of a public restroom with pterodactyl in my mouth.
In one hand was a diaper bag and a purse big enough to sleep five. In the other, a squirming one-year-old. My wife and six-year-old son were, as they say in polite company, “indisposed.” The pterodactyl, a large, black LEGO creation, did not have to go to the bathroom and was shoved into my mouth by the son who did. My younger son, Nathan, is unencumbered by barbaric things like public toilets. He soils himself when and where he pleases. I envy him.
My son emerges from the men’s room and asks that I spit his toy into his hands. “It’s got your slobber all over it,” he says in disgust. He asked me to hold it so that it wouldn’t get dirty in the restroom...
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 Jun 11 Of big pimpin’ and stuffed animalswdevoe, Pop Culture CATEGORY: Humor
TAGS: pimp, buckle, pop culture Jun 11 You can go home again, but leave the car runningwdevoe, Pop Culture
Despite what they say, you can go home again. If you have parents like mine, however, you may not survive the experience.
In the course of purchasing what will be our first home, my family had to move in with my parents for a couple months. It really hasn’t been that bad, all things considered, and we really appreciate them taking us in while we’re homeless, but it has made me think of the vast difference between being a parent and being a grandparent. First of all, my five-year-old, Kevin, and his 18-month-old brother, Nathan — two of the most low-down, crooked and ill-tempered rapscallions that have ever lived — can do no wrong in their grandparents’ eyes... Continue Reading CATEGORY: Humor
TAGS: Pop culture, home, parent Jun 11 House buying and home wreckingwdevoe, Pop Culture 
I suspect it started late last year, when we put in a bid on our first home. The process was a long, stressful one, and quite frankly, my wife and I became somewhat distant at times. I blame myself, really, for not being the man I should have been through the difficult time we had moving out of our apartment, living with my parents and, eventually, buying our house. I blame myself for not being the man that my wife, Jess, has fallen in love with over the past few months. He is kind, thoughtful and giving. He is always there for my wife and has enriched her life in ways I once only hoped to achieve. He is attentive, knowledgeable, but kind enough to take a break every now and then to give my wife some space... Continue Reading CATEGORY: Humor
TAGS: cheating, wife, pop culture  |
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