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One fish, two fish, dead fish, new fish

Posted by wdevoe | 10/03/08

This past weekend marked another milestone event for the DeVoe family: We replaced our first dead pet fish, an orange molly, aptly named Orange, without telling our son.
The lie began while I was getting ready for work Monday morning. I was taking a shower when my wife cracked the door and half whispered something to me.
“Orn is ed,” she says.
“What are you talking about?”
She raised her voice a little bit to be heard over the water. “Orn,” she says emphatically, and begins to shake her head in the direction of our living room, “is ed.”
I’m not too bright, and if you catch me before I’ve had my morning coffee, I’m downright difficult...

CATEGORY: General Society

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September brings school, sports and separation anxiety

Posted by wdevoe | 10/03/08

The first day of school, I walked Kevin upstairs through the hallway and out to the schoolyard where his kindergarten class lines up every morning.
At the entrance to his new elementary school, the assistant principal, who warmly welcomed Kevin and assured him that he was going to have a blast in this new and exciting place, greeted us.
When he took his place in line out in the schoolyard, in between a girl so tall she looked my age and a shorter kid with a spiky Mohawk, I hugged him goodbye and started to walk away. I got about 5 feet before I had to turn around and look at him. Kevin, usually the biggest kid in his preschool classes because of his late birthday, seemed so small in that schoolyard full of children.
I’ve seen my boy in so many ways before that day...

CATEGORY: General Society

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With kids, you’re always on the clock

Posted by wdevoe | 10/03/08

Sometimes you just want to mow the lawn.
But when you have kids, you can no longer “just” do anything. You no longer “just” go out to dinner. You no longer “just” run right down to the store. Things that you “just” used to do become ordeals that involve hours-long preparation, the stocking of diaper bags and the changing of diapers, the wrestling of clothes on and back on squirmy little kids as they do just about anything they can to delay the process of “just” doing something that used to take no time at all.
When I do get a chance to “just’ do something, I like to spend my time in the garden or doing yard work...

CATEGORY: General Society

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Advice: A hard habit to break

Posted by wdevoe | 10/03/08

This column is dedicated to the fine young woman who shouted medical advice at my son and I across three lanes of traffic as she was trying to navigate a minivan full of kids through a very crowded Union Avenue after the Saratoga Race Course’s Open House last Sunday.
And I think you know who you are.
On the Fourth of July, fresh off of a vacation to the epicenter of family values, Atlantic City, my wife and I took our two sons over to my in-laws’ for a barbecue. Twenty minutes later, we were on our way to the emergency room. Our daredevil of a 5-year-old broke his leg by running and jumping into some elaborate kiddie pool complete with oasis, slide, palm tree and about half a cup of water in it.
He didn’t want to go...

CATEGORY: General Society

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Baby steps

Posted by wdevoe | 08/08/08

My son should be walking by now.
I know he’s only 9 months old, and he barely wiggles his way around his play mat. I know the doctor says he shouldn’t start walking for another couple of months, but I think he should be walking by now.
I think this because my wife and I saw a 10-month-old the other day who was climbing around our neighborhood playground’s jungle gym like she was Buster Crabbe.
Her mother was nice enough. She didn’t seem to be rubbing it in our faces while she was telling us all the things her daughter could do that our son could not.
“Of course, Judy could walk by the time she was 7 months,” her mother said. And then, looking at my son, “But, you know, not every child advances at the same rate...

CATEGORY: General Society

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It does not take a village, and other fatherly advice from me to you

Posted by wdevoe | 07/25/08

What follows is a piece I did for this past Father's Day. While the advice is decidedly tongue-in-cheek, some readers took issue with me taking pot shots at Hilary Clinton, George Bush and, more importantly, The Village People.
One reader even advised to stop writing altogether, to which I replied, "No, mom, I will not."
In any case, enjoy:

Hello and welcome to a special Father’s Day edition of “Pop Culture,” America’s No. 1 resource for parenting advice.
You know, I’ve been at this fatherhood thing for a little over four years now, and that obviously makes me an expert on the subject, so in the spirit of Father’s Day, I’d like to impart some fatherly advice to any expecting, new or just terrible fathers out there...

CATEGORY: General Society

TAGS: Fatherhood, parenting, pop, culture, DeVoe, humor, parent, baby, son, zombie

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Fatherhood means lying through your teeth

Posted by wdevoe | 07/07/08

In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that I am not a ninja.
I am not a super-powered robot, a deep-sea adventurer or a starship commander.
I say this to you because, well, my son may be under the impression that I am all of these things and more.
I lie to my kids. I stretch, bend and in other ways manipulate the truth on a regular basis when it comes to my children. I do it very well (mostly because they are very young), and I do it for their own good.
Like it or not, we lie to our kids to keep them safe, whether it’s a little white lie to keep them from some sort of trouble, or a whopper to stave off an explanation of something children may not yet fully comprehend...

CATEGORY: General Society

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