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I’m writing my Thanksgiving piece early because I know everyone’s busy getting ready for the holidays with travel to see family, or have family visit. And if you don’t have plans for Thanksgiving, I know you’re looking forward to some down time.
I sense fatigue in everyone at this time of year. It shows in people’s body language. Not least, people are fighting off illness and finding that extra gear to prepare for and get through the holidays.
The longer I live in the United States, the more I appreciate Thanksgiving. I love the tradition of people expressing gratitude for all that’s good in their lives.
However, if I were a stranger to the US, I might be surprised to learn that Thanksgiving is a happy occasion; the way that some people gripe about the trouble they go through to prepare for the holidays.
The simple joy of being with family and friends, and having good food on the table is somehow lost in the retelling of delayed flights, traffic congestion, or some cooking disaster.
Joy then becomes a burden we have to schedule into our lives.
I find it hard during this time of year because I’m so far away from family – they live in England – and it’s not a simple matter of going there for a long weekend. I feel envious whenever people talk about going to see their family a mere few hours drive away.
I moan about my circumstances, instead of appreciating the simplicity of my family’s love. I can be who I am and live where I want because of my family’s love and support.
It makes me think of how fickle we humans can be. We hope and long for something, rejoice when we get it, but then forget that joy in the face of day-to-day hardships.
I longed to have children, but found it to be a difficult process to conceive. I envied every pregnant woman during that taxing time. Imagine my overwhelming joy when I did get pregnant. A joy I have to remind myself of sometimes when confronted by two demanding voices at the end of a long day.
“We’re only human” is a phrase I hear a lot and that means we can be petty and envious of what we don’t have. Admit it; haven’t you been jealous of that friend who dropped two or three dress sizes? Or, maybe, it was the co-worker who got the promotion you wanted. There is always something.
My husband – one of the wisest men I know – has a great philosophy about envy. He says, “Be happy for their good fortune because when you get your good news and success, you’d like them to be happy for you.”
So, this Thanksgiving, be happy about the good news you’ll hear from family and friends. This Thanksgiving, don’t schedule joy; connect to it in your life. There is a difference.
And what am I thankful for? In yet another year of transitions, I’m thankful for the wonderful friends I’ve made over the years in different places who still keep in touch. And I’m thankful for new friends who inspire me and make a new place feel more like home.
SUSAN S. CHEUNG
Susan is a writer originally from London, England. She moved to Nashville, Tenn. in July 2008 when her husband accepted a position at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. The family relocated after eight years in Guilderland, New York. And now they have a new home in Franklin, Tenn.
